During our lives we may be lucky enough to have that eyes meet across a crowded room moment, love at first sight, a meeting that completes & changes the course of our lives forever. Many times in readings I meet people who are desperate to find their soulmate, their life partner, create the relationship that will finally give them the love
& security they have always sought. Just as often I see patterns in
readings that need to be identified to give a better chance of finding
their significant other.
Personality pattern example 1 : ‘The fixer’
One of the most common problems I see is the person who is stuck in a destructive relationship pattern. One such pattern is always going for the ‘exciting bad boy’ & then thinking that they will miraculously
be able to turn them in to ideal partner material, highly unlikely.
How then can we attract our perfect mate ?
The first step is to love ourselves. One of my favourite quotes is by
the great comedienne Lucille Ball (1911 – 1989) who said “Love
yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to
love yourself to get anything done in this world.”
From this perspective when we are comfortable with ourselves, when we know that we are projecting our authentic personalities, only then can we begin to resonate on the frequency that will attract our perfect
match. If we are projecting an idealised version of ourselves then it
will not be long before the facade crumbles & the foundation of any
fledgeling relationship will undoubtedly flounder.
I am once again revisiting the Major Arcana cards on the Fool’s Journey as I refresh my deck & relationship with these most powerful
archetypes. I can always tell when someone has a reading that
represents a pivotal period of their lives. Even more so should several
of the Majors or ‘key’ tarot cards appear in the reading then choices
need to be made in order to release the blocks that may be holding the questioner back. I am interested in cognitive behavioural techniques & fascinated that some main stream therapists are now using the Tarot as a means of gaining rapport with their clients.
Here is a simplified example of a recent reading for someone who said
that their relationships always followed the same pattern. After laying
the cards in this sequence I said something along the lines of … ” It
looks to me like you go excitingly rushing in to new relationships full
of optimism ( Fool ). This begins to develop into something meaningful & you are hopeful that this bond will deepen ( Lovers ). Uh oh, when the initial excitement begins to fade, doubt & insecurity that
are actually just artefacts left over from previous relationships,
manifest themselves as controlling behaviour, jealousy & petty
arguments ( Devil ). Insecurity & mistrust begins to erode the
foundations of the relationship & you find yourself once more
facing the upheaval of another unhappy union ….
Here is the same behaviour pattern broken down …
The questioner – The Fool – A new beginning – Innocence – Naivety / trust
The situation – The Lovers – Beginning of romance – optimism – meaningful relationship
The Challenge – The Devil – Jealousy – control – darkness – reactionary behaviour
Possible Outcome – The Tower – Diversion – Insecurity – Doubt – Upheaval
From this perspective the destructive behaviour emerges in the form of the Devil card, the jealousy, the controlling behaviour. If you look at
the image of the Devil card the chains that bind him are self inflicted
& can be released at any time. The darkness of the Devil is in direct conflict to the pure light energy of the Fool. In this case if the questioner was able to identify the destructive element creeping in
to her behaviour, the bonds could be broken & the cycle destroyed.
What self limiting pattern of behaviour is limiting you ? Identify a
destructive behaviour today, release it & get ready to watch the
magic happen …